Day 5: Impressions of Stockholm

Since we entered Sweden we had been told that the people in Stockholm are "stuck up", "pretentious", "snobby", "a bunch of actors", and in general far too aware of their own coolness. So we were prepared to feel unworthy of being in their presence.

However, while Stockholm is a painfully cool city, with amazing, quirky houses, streets, shops and so on, the people were not at all like the ones we had been warned about. Perhaps they are pretentious by Swedish standards... but we found the people in Stockholm to be just as sweet, friendly, and open-hearted as everywhere else in Sweden.

In fact, if it's possible, we found them to be even happier and more open to talking to us than in other places in (the south of) Sweden. Almost everyone we stopped on the street and asked to interview said "sure" with a big smile and gave genuine, thoughtful answers to our questions.

All in all, it was a pleasant surprise and a wonderful end to our trip. We're both looking forward to going back to Stockholm in the future!

Day 4: Hello Helsingborg

Through a series of exceptional coincidences, instead of going from Malmo to Jonkoping yesterday, we ended up instead at a very typically Swedish house in Helsingborg, drinking specialty beers, eating cheese, and talking about life with 5 Swedish window-cleaning-company workers and 5 German girls from Frankfurt.

Oscar, a regional manager for a window-cleaning company, is the reason we ended up there. He has a very easy-going personality and has recently gotten actively involved n the couchsurfing community. He has a fantastic apartment and for his first hosting experience in Sweden, happened to rescue 3 German girls and the two of us at the Helsingborg train station, piling into his VW Touareg for the quick drive to his uncle’s house – where we met two more German girls who were staying there as well.

Marcus, his uncle, who owns the company, is even more laid-back than Oscar, considering he had about a 20 minute warning that he would be hosting a whole bunch of people for the night. Not to mention that we crashed a beer-tasting and poker guys’ night – although nobody seemed to mind too much.

Marcus left university after the 1^st year of his PhD program in Chemistry to become an entrepreneur. He casually talks about the practicalities and moral challenges of octopus hunting and tells us in passing about recently being on a reality TV show.  He has an incredible life and shares it without a trace of hesitation. He believes that education is the most important thing in life; he says he will probably soon go back to school to finish his PhD.

“Education trains you to think critically… and life – life is about thinking critically. That’s how we separate humans from other humans – that’s how we go about sorting out right from wrong.”

Bjorn, an employee of Oscar’s, who looks like a typical Swedish fisherman, tells me about the regional differences between the north and the south of Sweden, as well as the differences between Stockholm and the rest of Sweden. He explains that people in the north are “strange – they are very quiet because they don’t see as many people as we do down here”. Not that the south is normal – “we’re seen as farmers by the rest of Sweden, and in Stockholm nobody understands us because our accents are so different”. Of course, he thinks that the south is the best part of Sweden, partially because it’s closer to the rest of Europe – it’s so easy to travel to a different country. People in Stockholm, according to Bjorn, are “pretentious without a reason to be. They’re stuck all the way up there thinking they’re so great, while we’re down here actually interacting with other people and having a good time.”

Elina from Frankfurt is one of the other couchsurfers with us. She tells us about how utterly amazed she is by the idea that so many hosts that she has encountered have incredible apartments, and lives, and just want to share all of it – for free – with other people. “How come they want to share everything? They could have it all for themselves, but they don’t want to – they just want to share it.”

She tells us about a host in Den Haag who had a huge house with ten bikes in the back yard (for couchsurfers to pick out one that suited them), and a constant stream of couchsurfers going through his house. His kids – 16 and 18 – spend half of their time with him, and more often than not there are couchsurfers around. Elina mentioned that it must be difficult for them, but also incredibly beneficial – to grow up seeing so many different cultures passing through their house.

The night – and breakfast the next morning – passes in a lazy, relaxed atmosphere that gives you the feeling that time has stopped – that nothing matters in the world at the moment except good company, some good food, and a roof over your head. This is the real essence of couchsurfing, and we’ve managed to land ourselves in it without even knowing we were looking for it. How lucky is that?

Day 3: Copenhagen & Malmo

Matthias, Camille and their 5 month old son, Wilder from Copenhagen

Matthias and Camille are a young family who are about to get married; Matthias explains that life is very expensive now – especially with having a baby and paying for a wedding.

They have both lived in Copenhagen for a number of years but have also spent a lot of time overseas travelling and studying.

Matthias works for an oil company and travels a lot for work. He doesn’t enjoy travelling as much nowadays and prefers to spend time at home. He is planning to take 3 months paternity leave so he can be with Wilder more often.

Camille has travelled a lot in the past and would often use couchsurfing websites as a way to get around.  She often used to travel by herself so found that it was a good way to meet people in cities where she didn’t know anyone, and to get a local perspective on the area.

As Matthias and Camille have travelled a lot, they have friends all over the world and often have friends from around the world come to visit them. This makes them feel like they are part of a global community, especially with the use of Facebook, which enables them to keep track of what everyone is doing around the world.

They live on the outskirts of Copenhagen and with the arrival of Wilder have recently bought a car in order to be able to get around more easily and visit family in other parts of Denmark. They decided to buy a VW because they are trustworthy cars and not as expensive as some other models like Audi.

Matthias and Camille seem to have experienced a lot of their lives and are extremely well travelled but when asked what luxury meant to them, they both said happiness and spending time with Wilder – it was the little things such as a hearing him laugh for the first time or getting a cuddle in before work.

Ola, a Librarian from Malmo

We found Ola in a small organic, vegetarian café in a quite area of Malmo. He was sitting at a table by himself quietly reading a large book and sipping a tea.

Ola has lived in west Sweden all his life. His parents moved there when he was one and he’s been there every since.

He feels like he is part of a community in Malmo, albeit a small one compared to the rest of the world. His community is the people he has known for about 20 years through university, literature, writing and living in the area his whole life. To him, going to his local café and seeing a friend unexpectedly is what community feels like. He connects with these people through social and cultural experiences.

Ola feels there is a strong difference between the west and east coast of Sweden and that in each big city (Malmo, Gothenburg and Stockholm) there is a distinctive difference in culture. In Malmo he feels that people are quite laid back but practical in the way they do things. In Stockholm he feels that people are putting on more of an act – saying  “In Stockholm people just listen to the instruments whereas in Malmo they play them”. Ola feels that in Gothenburg there is a similar culture to Stockholm where people exploit the fact that it is a historically industrial town, so they like to "play the part of a working-class person".  

Luxury is about quality of life to Ola. The café he was sitting in is luxury (even though it's very affordable) because it’s his favorite café – a very cozy authentic environment. The food is organic and fair trade and he feels that it’s healthier. He feels it is luxury more than going to an expensive fancy restaurant.

Ola mentions that his parents come from a wealthy background but are no longer interested in a high-class lifestyle. In a way he feels spoilt because he has been able to experience both sides of life. However he seems to prefer the smaller things in life, opting for a quiet organic café in his neighborhood that “feels real” as opposed to the expensive restaurant down the road.

To Ola, luxury is not about exclusivity but about having a purpose behind what you do.

Day 3: Goodbye, Copenhagen

When Kim & I put out a desperate call for anyone who knows anyone who can help us find a place to stay in Copenhagen with about 8 hours’ notice, we’re not expecting to end up minutes away from central Stockholm with the kindest person we’ve met so far on our trip. But that’s exactly what happens as we meet C., a stunning Danish student who welcomes us easily into her house and instantly makes us feel at home. She even wakes up after a late night and 3.5 hours of sleep to go out and get us some breakfast. When we thank her profusely she simply waves her hand and says, “Don’t worry. I’ve always wanted to be the kind of person that easily welcomes people into my house like this, so actually it helps me to feel like a good person to let you stay on my couches”.

We end up talking about Volvos, and she says that she’s always wanted one. “I like that they’re square. My favorite is the dark green color. It’s a simple choice, actually – you either buy a German car or a Swedish car. I’ve always thought that when you buy a Volvo, you have it for the rest of your life.”

C. is a wonderful, easy-going, relaxed, happy person who clearly has a lot of good friends in her life – including her housemates, who are all just as cool with us staying there as she is. This is one of the moments we realize that good people are what makes a trip – and one of the nights that makes all the stress we’ve been under over here completely worth it.

Day 3: A Quick Ride to Helsingborg

Malmö --> Helsingborg 

“I always pick up hitchhikers because I used to do it myself,” says Eve sheepishly as we drive down the highway, “but my husband can’t know about it. He doesn’t understand.”

Eve is a social worker for elderly people at a hospital nearby Malmo; she’s on her way to visit her mother in a village near Helsingborg. 

When we express our amazement at how beautiful the country is, she smiles and genuinely says, “Thank you!” as though we are complimenting her daughter. In this way she’s clearly a Swede through and through. She loves her country but is openly willing to talk both about the ups and the downs of it.

While telling us about the crops that are grown and produced in Sweden, she mentions rapeseed oil, on which buses in Malmo actually run. “Swedes care a lot about the “milieu” – the environment,” she says proudly.

She says, however, that socially in Sweden, compared to ten years ago, there’s a lot less equality than one might think. Of course, compared to other countries it’s still very good, but the general trend has been right-leaning. The difference between the rich and the poor is becoming more apparent, and money becoming more and more important. However, a Swedish boss still has not nearly as much power as in other countries.

She also tells us that Swedes will take a really long time to tell you that they dislike you or that they don’t think you’re working hard enough. Whether that’s a tip for our survival in Sweden or a subtle hint that she’s annoyed at all the questions we’ve asked her, it’s a good thing to know as we continue our journey into Sweden.

Day 2: Copenhagen Chatter

They say that finding happiness is as easy as learning to appreciate small moments of joy or gratitude. Others say it's about being strongly tied to a community. If those things are true, then our interviews today help to explain why Danish people are the happiest people in the world. Two strong themes emerged as we chatted to people on the street: feeling intricately connected to the Copenhagen community, and perceiving the small moments of happiness that life affords you as true luxury.

Klaus 
 
Klaus is a computer programmer and a musician who we chatted to while he was taking his adorable dog for a walk. He sees himself as not only part of the Copenhagen community, but as part of the European and the global community as well -- believing that as human beings, we are all facing the same issues and struggles.  Life is hard for everyone. This is a refreshing perspective since a lot of the people we've met so far have expressed some antagonism towards the 'problematic' countries in the European union, and by extension, the people that come from those countries.

Klaus is conscious of the products that he buys, but mostly because he's concerned with the impact that these products have on him and his family. He's less concerned with the lifecycle of products, but how far they have been transported remains a concern. He does believe that brands can have a positive impact on the world, but only if they are honestly committed to that cause, and not just paying lip service to the issues at hand.

To Klaus, luxury is about having some wine and going out to dinner, having a car to drive, having his dog. He - like a lot of people that we've met - believes that the experience is what makes something luxury; how good you feel about it personally rather than how others feel when they know that you have it.

He believes that while it's theoretically possible for a luxury brand to have a positive impact on society, there is an inherent contradiction of terms -- "if it's a luxury item, then that means that you can do without it, so perhaps you should".

Wim & Kerstin

This lovely, happy couple is a Copenhagen couple through and through. They proudly remind us that their country is the happiest in the world and note that their participation in the Copenhagen community involves making visitors feel welcome and at home. Wim feels that in this way he is also involved in the global community, since Copenhagen is becoming so widely known by the rest of the world and quickly becoming a popular travel destination for students. But mostly the couple feels very strongly connected to Denmark. Wim and Kerstin try to buy Danish products when they can to support local business.

Luxury, to them, is walking through beautiful, safe Copenhagen on a summer evening. They stroll off into the sunset holding hands as we say goodbye.

Lance & Tina 

Lance and Tina are in town from a suburb called Hellerup in Denmark. They feel themselves strongly to be part of the Copenhagen community, pointing out that they are very different from the people in Jutland, and extremely different from the people in Southern Europe.

They are both concerned with buying locally-sourced products even if they tend to be a bit more expensive -- not just for health reasons but because transport of these products wreaks havoc on the environment.

What is luxury to them? "This is luxury." The kids are with the grandparents, and the two of them are having a date night in Copenhagen. Luxury depends on where you are in life - it's not just about buying expensive stuff. It can be a very simple moment, like the one we catch them enjoying by the water on a warm summer evening in the city.

Day 2: Driving into Denmark

Our 4-hour drive to Denmark today was in a packed Mercedes B-class with 3 very diverse personalities (not including Kim & I).

Aidan & Kemal

Our driver, Aidan, is a 33-year-old club general manager for a FitnesFirst location, having switched careers after he found working in insurance to be too depressing. Adam is a die-hard optimist, and his driving purpose in life is to create happiness for himself and others. He lives for new experiences - meeting new people, traveling to new places, learning new things. He laughs easily, has a positive outlook on every experience, and is very easy to get along with. His favorite car-sharing story? "I once had a guy who was a drug dealer. The police did a random check, and I think they were looking for him, because he went with them. It was funny, although he never paid me for the ride. [laughs]"

Aidan's friend Kemal is a 1st division football coach in Istanbul. His drivers are adrenaline, meeting challenges head-on, competition. He's traveled a lot as well and loves to get to know different people and cultures.

Aidan has Turkish parents while Kemal is Turkish-born but lived in Germany for 7 years; the two guys gave us some great insights about the difference between the Turkish and German cultures. Both feel, almost by blood, intricately tied to their communities; but both are quick to point out that the way that one expresses one's community ties are starkly different in the two nations. Germans, as Aidan points out, are quite closed-off. It's not so easy to meet them. So a community in Germany becomes your immediate circle of friends and perhaps the people you meet at work. Turkish people, on the other hand, are very open, very helpful, and make everyone feel welcome into their community. In that way the Germans have some things to learn from Turkish culture.

On the other hand, while in Turkey the divide between the rich in the poor is not only very clear but is something that the rich make an effort to display, in Germany, the divide is not so clear. Both guys unanimously agree that in this sense, Germany wins. They emphasize that ultimately, everyone is the same - everyone is human. Just because some people don't have the same opportunities as others doesn't mean that they should be treated differently.

Aidan believes that luxury is not about money, it's about what you do with your life -- living it to the fullest and getting the best experiences out of it is more important than having the most expensive things. Which is not to say that he doesn't like expensive things -- he easily admits that if it wasn't for his newborn baby, he would have bought a Porsche instead of his Mercedes. But he adds that the Porsche would have been for his enjoyment only, not something to throw in the faces of others. "I had a girlfriend when I lived in Melbourne who had a ridiculous amount of money. But she wasn't happy. That was the problem. Money is not important - having fun. That's wealth."

Kemal's idea of luxury is a yacht. Living in Istanbul, he has become accustomed to the idea that in order to be respected, you have to show that you have money. But the last thing you could call Kemal is pretentious -- for him, luxury products are almost a necessary evil. To him, luxury is not about exclusivity but purely about respect.

Both believe that we make an impact on the world by simply being ourselves. The microsphere of the car is a perfect example - we're all interacting with each other and influencing each other, which then has an influence on other people. The butterfly effect in action.

Lena

The third person in the car with us is Lena, a student from Berlin at the beginning of a long trip through Northern Europe.

Lena studies Psychology, travels as much as possible, and is very active in the couchsurfing community. Her favorite car-sharing story is getting a ride from a German couple, the man being twice the woman's age. The couple had apparently met while one was giving a ride to the other through Mitfahrgelegenheit.

Lena believes that luxury is a personally defined concept - it's how you feel, not how others feel about what you do or have. For her, luxury is "being able to decide what to do with your time". It's about freedom.

Lena believes, similarly to Aidan and Kemal's theory, that one person can have a significant impact on the world just through their personal choices. She's stopped eating meat; she buys products consciously, she donates some money to 4 different NGOs, she doesn't have her own car. "If everyone does what he or she can, the world is already a better place."